Guess who’s back…back again…
It’s been a while since my last post, I know. However, I’ve decided that now that I have some free time on my hands it would be beneficial for
you me that I revisit my love for writing and revel in my freedom of expression. This is America after all.
For months I have been in the process of moving forward with my life. New friends, new interests, new living situation, new dating scene etc…
It’s been great for me and I am so thankful to be able to have such opportunities at a time when I thought I had nothing.
I wanted to talk for a moment about a topic that has come up a few times in the past few months.
Very often I come home after a date and its shockingly normal.
Nothing absurd happened, nothing to blog about, nice guy, nice atmosphere, nice conversation.
No reason not to go out again right?
So I go again. Same thing happens. Nice, nice, nice…
And the cycle continues, until I get so bored that the thought of spending an evening with them is just mentally exhausting.
When I do eventually end it, it’s usually due to lack of excitement. You know it’s a problem when you are more excited about a TV show and will schedule a date around said show to avoid any conflict (even though you have TIVO and everything is online anyway).
I realize that it sounds so stupid to stop dating a person because I am just not excited. In the grand scheme of things I know that its very likely that I won’t feel excited 10, 15 years into marriage. But, you know what? I think it should at least start out with SOME kind of excitement! I have felt it before, and maybe it spoiled me into thinking that its a necessary component in a relationship. Who knows? But I still want it.
I had this conversation with one of my guy friends and he asked me what I meant by “excited.”
I mean feeling like you want to spend time with someone, actually caring about what they have to say. Just seeing their name on the caller ID makes you smile. When you get a text from them, you can’t wait to answer. Then, when you do answer, you are anticipating their response. I mean feeling like the time until you will next see one another seems like an eternity. Looking at the clock and realizing you have been out for 6 hours and it seemed like only 20 minutes. The thought of leaving them at the end of a date makes you sad. Get it?
Is that too much to ask?
I just want to feel excited. And I don’t. And it’s annoying.