Is your date an axe murderer?

10 Nov

One of the first lessons I learned when dating was to discover if my date was an axe murderer/serial killer. There are always red flags and warning signs to be aware of:

 Does he kick small defenseless creatures?
 Is he disrespectful to waiters?
 Is he a chauvanist who thinks women all belong in the kitchen?
 Does he get upset when you don’t put out?
 Does the vein in his head look as though it is about to burst from the slightest provocation?

If you answered yes to any of these questions your date is probably an axe murderer and you should dump him immediately and flee the country. 

I often like to test the guy’s temper by playing silly little mind games. Anything from complaining about the way he drives to how you wish he was doing something with his life will suffice. Pretty much any type of comment that will annoy him to his breaking point. If he blows up in your face and starts screaming, he is probably an axe murderer and I hope you don’t end up on an episode of Law and Order SVU.


Perhaps he is simply suffering from a little known condition called Masculine Depression. You see, there is a very fine line between a typical guy, an axe murderer and a man with a mental illness such as masculine depression. Until a couple of days ago I was unaware of this serious condition sweeping the nation. However, after studying for a psychology exam this past week (and ROCKING it)- the sad truth was revealed to me about the severity of this Axis I disorder.

This is a slide from my class. Now, if this was not titled “Masculine Symptoms of Depression” one might think that this is simply a list of male characteristics. I mean, what man doesn’t have a bad temper, use drugs, is emotionally numb and loves sports? Maybe I am dating the wrong guys but those traits are pretty standard for the average male.

So , next time you are faced with a situation where your date shows signs of a violent temper or over involvement in sports (especially during Knick’s season) ask yourself….

                                Axe murderer OR Masculine Depression?

3 Responses to “Is your date an axe murderer?”

  1. lawschooldrunk May 19, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

    I guess I really don't associate with your circles because this – "Does he get upset when you don't put out?" – would never be expected.Do you mind if I judge you based on your comment of playing "Silly little mind games" with your dates?Although dating is itself one big test of compatibility, mind games have a way of backfiring and not having realistic effect. For example, the classic tale of the female on a date removing her date's car keys from the ignition to see if he will become upset. This is not a realistic cause and effect.

  2. charles May 19, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    "…mind games have a way of backfiring and not having realistic effect." – Hence she said "silly little mind games" … i guess a LITTLE fun is not allowed on dates. I guess we should all use the approach of the 3 dates and engaged, right?


  1. Qualifications « Um…check, please!!!! - September 20, 2011

    […] she knows nothing about. You’re a matchmaker- do some research before setting me up with a potential axe murderer. K […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: