Being thankful

25 Nov

As you know, today is Thanksgiving. Its the time of year when families gather together to binge on fall favorites like turkey, pumpkin pie, potatoes, yams and cranberry sauce (YUM). In keeping with true Thanksgiving tradition, I watched the parade this morning and was fascinated not only by the balloons, scantily clad dancers and floats, but by the amount of people who got out of bed that day to stand around in the freezing cold when I was home curled up in my snuggie drinking an over sized mug of pumpkin spice flavored coffee.

Determined New Yorkers during holiday season are crazy.

I started thinking about what I am thankful for because each year we go around the table and everyone says the same things.
“I’m thankful for my health/family/friends/food…” Blah Blah Blah…. I have decided that this time I am going to break the mold and be thankful for something more original.

This year I am thankful for the experiences I have had in the dating world. YES, I know it sounds crazy especially after reading a few of my stories. You are probably thinking that I already started downing Four Lokos upon waking up this morning to come up with a statement like that. But, alas, I must admit that without the many freakS and dates I have gone on with them this blog would not exist and consequently your lives would have a little less laughter in them.

So, for this reason I am thankful for The Man Child, Mr. In Denial and SDB to name a few(never fear, there is a constant stream of freaks at my disposal for your entertainment purposes). Thank you for showing me the humor in an otherwise traumatic situation.  

In a few short hours I will join my family in a festive Thanksgiving meal full of laughter and bits of dialogue about what everybody has been up to. In preparation for this, I plan to print this out and wear it around my neck:


2 Responses to “Being thankful”

  1. Joseph November 26, 2010 at 8:51 pm #

    Speaking about bad dates…I've been on a number with the opposite sex that made my hair stand on end. I was waiting to date this girl for the longest time. We we constantly dancing around it until I finally asked her out. As I'm going to pick her up from her house, she calls me out of the blue, stating that she is in Burgers Bar and I should come pick her up. As I pulled up in front I noticed she was waiting outside….in sweatpants and a sweatshirt….As she opened the car door the wuff of fried onions filled the car. She smelled like a mixture between grilled beef and BO with a side of onion rings and something that smelled very much like a hospital that I just could not place. As I Liked this girl very much, I decided to crack a window and keep going. She proceeded to tell me about her crazyyyy day. She went to Hurricane Harbor that day and although she had been home for an hour, she did not have time to shower before the date. I now realized what that smell was that I could not place. Urine. Yes, Urine the beautiful smelling substance that fill the pools of waterparks across the country. As I reswallowed the baked ziti I ate that day for lunch, I called an audible and decided to go to a movie. The beautiful circulating air in the movie theatre and the fact that I told her that Im neurotic and need a buffer seat when I see a Movie, saved my life that night. As a rule, if a date tell you to pick them up at burgers bar, don't show up.

  2. Check Pleaseee November 29, 2010 at 5:53 pm #

    You must have REALLY liked this girl if you tolerated not only her disgusting odor BUT also the fact that she made you pick her up from Burgers Bar. You see, if I was this girl I would only do something so disgusting and repulsive if I had a personal vendetta against you. Perhaps she wanted to send the message that she was not interested in going to get food with you on your date.I mean, she went out of her way to make sure she was not at home and thus avoided the formality of the "coming to the door" awkward situation typically associated with dating. Maybe the reason why she was dressed in sweatpants and reeking of urine because she didn't like you and was hoping that you would be embarrassed to be seen in a public space with her. Clearly her logic proved effective because you whisked her away to a romantic rendezvous in a darkened movie theater and made sure to sit as far away from her as socially acceptable. Once again I must reiterate the importance of SIGNALS in relationships. While you, Joseph, might have been infatuated with this oniony and urine soaked young woman, she was clearly indicating the opposite. I am glad you have since learned you lesson.

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