Vampire Obsessions

7 Dec

Unless you have been living under a rock for the past few years, you are probably aware of the vampire obsession that has been sweeping the nation. From Vampire Diaries to Twilight to True Blood….. Nowadays in order for a show or book to be successful it must include this exact storyline:

Brooding 1000 year old vampire meets fresh young blooded girl and they fall hopelessly in love. YES! This is the woman he has been waiting for his entire life! For 1000 years he was alone and couldn’t tolerate any woman. He was sad and bitter but now there is joy in his life! So like ummm what the heck do they talk about? Pop culture? Current events? The French Revolution? What could they possibly have in common? Apparently more than I do with my dates; a very comforting thought.


Aside from the obvious pedophilia and impending danger involved in this relationship, the girl is smitten and cannot bear to imagine her life without her vampire lover. The rest of the plot revolves around what the couple is going to do about the fact that the vampire can’t decide whether he wants to sex her or kill her. Oh, and then there is always a random werewolf involved somehow.

How is it possible that I can name off the top of my head at least 5 shows/books that are all about the same thing and all equally successful? It makes no sense.

I have concluded that these shows and books are targeted towards single women in the hopes that they will be comforted by the fact that at least when they DO date, they don’t have to worry about having all the blood drained from their bodies.

In my case I’d opt for the blood draining because most of my dates are similar to living in an actual horror movie.

To sum:

What I would like to know is how it is possible that a 1000 year old vampire can find true love and I, a living breathing human being, am unable to find anyone who is actually datable? Riddle me that one!

One Response to “Vampire Obsessions”


  1. Analogies « Um…check, please!!!! - September 27, 2011

    […] there are so many vampire shows on TV lately and how he doesn’t understand why all women are obsessed with vampires. Being that this is a topic that I am fairly proficient in, I attempted to explain it all […]

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