Unconcerned

12 Dec

Recently, my mother has begun to express concern that my blog might be deemed offensive which would subsequently deter the abundant number of eligible bachelors from asking for my hand in marriage.

Here is why I do not share in her concerns:

1) My blog is anonymous. The only way anyone would know who I am would be if the guys who I blog about happen to come across my blog among the millions of blogs out there, recognize that I have been writing about them and then sue me for defamation of character. Considering that most of the guys I have been out with lack brain cells and higher cognitive functioning, it is safe to assume that they:
                 a) Have no idea what a blog is
                 b) Are illiterate
                 c) Would be unable to recognize their own absurd behavior even if they
                      read about it
                 d) All the above

2) If for some reason word got out about who I was, the guys who would cower in the corner afraid that our date would be featured in a blog post are clearly NOT the ones who are destined to be with me. Essentially, if you are a man who is incapable of seeing the humor in a given situation then you are not for me. People who cannot take a joke need not apply because I am not interested.

3) The man of my dreams will see my blog as a challenge. They will allow their inner caveman to come forward and prove their superiority over the imbeciles who have occupied my time thus far. This man will be overcome with the need to show me that NOT all men are freaks and will proceed to sweep me off my feet and woo me. A foolproof plan in my opinion.

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