Prank Wars Part 3

30 Dec

In an effort to distract myself from my failings in the dating world, I have revisited the wonderful world of pranking. This is without a doubt one of the most epic and flawless pranks I have ever committed in my existence.

Back story:
One of my best friends, The Shoe Whore, earned her name by virtue of the fact that she is obsessed with shoes to the point where it would not be far fetched to assume she would sell herself soul for a pair of Christian Louboutin heels. While out to dinner one Saturday night, she began expressing her deep desire to go to the Christian Louboutin sample sale. Now, this sample sale includes reduced price shoes which on average go for around $900. The only downside about it, is that the sample sale is by invitation only and access to the sale is very limited. They are extremely strict at the door and if your name is not on the list, don’t even bother trying to get in.

Over dinner, The Shoe Whore began complaining about how it is so unfair that the sale is by invitation only. All the while the wheels in my head started turning and the intricacies of my prank began formulating…

Step 1:
Create false email address
ChristianLouboutinLuxury@gmail.com

Step 2:
Compose epic prank

And now, ladies an gentleman, I present you with the product of my evil genius brain (insert evil laugh here)

From: Christian Louboutin <christianlouboutinluxury@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Nov 11, 2010 at 10:36 PM
Subject: Christian Louboutin Sample Sale Sweepstakes

According to our records, you have recently made a purchase at one of our New York locations. This qualifies you to enter into our Sample Sale Sweepstakes. Twenty five fortunate women are selected for free entry to our By Invitation Only sample sale Wednesday November 17th. All recipients of this email must reply with the following information by midnight.
Full name
Date of birth
Phone number
Email address that the email was sent to for confirmation purposes
A photograph of yourself posing with your favorite pair of Christian Louboutin shoes (we are looking for originality).
A paragraph describing the lengths you would go in order to gain access to the sample sale.

Best of luck
Obviously upon receiving this email she became so giddy with excitement that she promptly texted me and begged me to come up with something clever for her essay. I brushed it off by saying I was extremely busy with schoolwork. What I failed to mention is that aside from her obsession with shoes, The Shoe Whore also has an interesting relationship with grammar. In high school she would send me her essays to proofread because if not for me, I doubt she would have graduated. So, my evilness continues by requiring her to submit a piece of writing. 

From: shoewhore@aol.com
Date: Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 11:30 PM
Subject: Re: Christian Louboutin Sample Sale Sweepstakes
To: Christian Louboutin <christianlouboutinluxury@gmail.com>
I am a 22 year old girl with a new found love for shoes. My twitter name is @shoewhore. However, my obsession doesn’t just accept any shoes, the shiny red bottom heals are the one I die for, and preferably 5″ or higher because I am only 5’2 . It took 2 years and every saved penny I had for my shoe bank to grow enough so that I could buy my first pair of Louboutins. I almost bought a scratched pair, thank god for my good eye, order to have my dream pair. But after searching high and low; on one April spring day I hiked from your Madison avenue store to the Meatpacking district to purchase my gorgeous pair. First thing I did was take a picture the with my shoes (while still in the bag) to show my friends that I finally could say “I own a pair of Christian Louboutins!”
To get access to this sample sale would mean the world to me. I would actually be able to afford 2 more pairs for the price of one and expand my collection. To get this I would vow to run the NYC marathon every year in my 6″ loubs, until god forbid a million times, they break. Sounds like an impossible task, but I have walked miles on grass and rocks, climbed hill, and danced hours all with a smile on my face and never not one complaint! And of course, with impeccable style :).

She then included the following picture:


Note the millions of errors including missing “s”.

My friends who knew about the prank kept pestering me about when I was going to tell The Shoe Whore that it was all just a sham…. This was how I decided to tell her:

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Christian Louboutin <christianlouboutinluxury@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Nov 9, 2010 at 12:08 PM
Subject: Re: Christian Louboutin Sample Sale Sweepstakes

To: shoewhore@aol.com


Thank you for your entry into the Christian Louboutin Sample Sale Sweepstakes. We regret to inform you that due to the following circumstances your submission was not accepted. Here at Christian Louboutin, we pride ourselves on serving a clientele of a higher caliber. Your paragraph was a mockery of what our brand stands for. For starters, if you cannot even spell the word “heels” properly, how do you expect us to believe that you even know what they are? Let alone own a pair. There were so many errors in grammar, syntax, subject-predicate and verb subject agreement that we were unable to comprehend the point you attempted to make. For example “I almost bought a scratched pair, thank god for my good eye, order to have my dream pair.”- is this even English? Additionally, you have not fulfilled the requirement of including a picture of the shoes. How do you expect us to believe that the shoes are really in that bag as you claim? That bag could be empty for all we know.  As for the lengths you would go to in order to gain access to the Sample Sale, I am appalled that you would treat our shoes with such disrespect as to use them in place of sneakers in a marathon. Finally, which hill did you climb exactly? We need to verify this information so please provide the exact GPS coordinates.

Despite all of this we hope you will continue to purchase Christian Louboutin shoes for full price in the future.

When she receiving this reply she immediately texted me freaking out that Christian Louboutin was making fun of her. Then suddenly… she put 2 and 2 together and came to the realization that I was behind it!!!! She was not happy, but the world I was extremely entertained. 

She eventually got over it and forgave me and we all had a laugh…
To The Shoe Whore, I wish you this:

One Response to “Prank Wars Part 3”

  1. Enamuel January 3, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

    HAHA Great prank!!BTW you fucked up on the email dates, Nov 11th the initial email was sent then on Nov 8th Shoe Whore replied??

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