Happy S.A.D.

11 Feb

Yes, you guessed it! It’s that time again where flowers, hearts and chocolates assault you at every turn….

Otherwise known as S.A.D which ironically spells out the word “sad.” Because lets face it, that’s exactly how most girls feel on this holiday. Actually, now that I think about it, it’s a sad day for the guys too. A day full of pressure and outrageous expectations that will most likely go un-met.

 
Guys save your time and money… just send her this …

The hype given to S.A.D. would drive anyone crazy!!!I pity the guys…Now I understand why statistically more men are hospitalized for anxiety disorders during February.

Accurate portrayal of every man in the world forced to celebrate S.A.D.

Singles Awareness Day is the one day of the year that’s sole purpose is dedicated to reminding all single women that they are REMARKABLY still single (as if we need reminding)…

This will cheer you up!!

Oddly this year I totally forgot that it was approaching until I made a trip to Wallgreens. It was quite a scene! Did you know they have a FULL aisle dedicated to this? I have never seen so many hearts in the same place.  It was very alarming. After spending a few minutes perusing the myriad of holiday novelties which included things from chocolate to teddy bears to edible chocolate body paint and handcuffs I starting thinking.

Aside from making single girls depressed, why does V-day exist? If people are in love, they should celebrate it EVERY day. I have concluded that it exists for a reason that can be summed up in the following e-card.

You all know what I’m talking about! Those sad singles who send themselves flowers with a card that says “Be mine?” or “Please say yes” or the infamous “I love you.” Why do they do it?

Simple.

To make people jealous. Guys AND girls!

It is the ultimate scheme that we see in movies and TV shows. That guy you are crushing on at work/school/the gym will see that you are getting gifts from someone else and will instantly be flooded with jealousy. Or even the girls in the office/school/gym who shoot daggers at you with their eyes because of the ginormous flower arrangement accompanied by an elaborate barbershop quartet that YOU ordered to sing while you feign embarassment at your “boyfriend’s” confession of his love.

I can see it now:

Barbershop quartet: Are you blah blah?
Sad Singleton: Why yes I am!
BQ: Well, your hunky man candy sent us to sing a song for you. Its YOUR song.
SS: Oh (giggling) I can’t believe he remembered our song from that time when we first met (haaaa he didn’t) ohhh this is sooo impromptu and embarrassing!!!
BQ: (start singing a sappy love song)
{cue the massive bouquet of flowers and giant stuffed animals}
SS: ohhhh he shouldn’t have!!

He didn’t.

And if he really did… WHY wouldn’t he be there to reap the inevitable reward from his sweetie???? Therein lies the giveaway.

Girlies…instead of going through with such an elaborate charade be upfront about what you really will be doing when you leave work that day…

Anyway, this year I decided that there is no use being upset about the connotations associated with S.A.D. So I took it upon myself to secure myself a date!

Send all date requests to checkpleaseee@gmail.com

Now don’t all (my freak-groupies) jump at once…………

Needless to say upon further inspection it was fortunately discovered that …. I have a massive exam the very next day rendering any romantic plans impossible.

I guess my situation resolved itself after all.

To sum:

If you are fortunate enough to have a sweetie of your own, shower him/her with love and devotion on a daily basis, not just on V-day!!!

However, if you do not happen to have a significant other, do not despair! He/she is out there somewhere, why else do you think I keep hope alive even after the disasters I have been dealt!?

Don’t waste your efforts on silly gifts for yourself, instead grab some friends and celebrate being single ( I know The Shoe Whore and I will)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For those of you who don’t have huge exams the next day:

Happy S.A.D.!

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