What is the catch??

20 May

I’m sure this has happened to everyone at some point or another. You realize that here you are at the prime of your dating career and suddenly reach a standstill. Up until this point you were going on at least 3 dates a week, your phone ringing off the hook with guys waiting for you/your secretary to check your calendar and pencil in a date with them…

As the Shoe whore and I like to say “Those pigeons were flocking.”

Pigeons by definition are birds who are abundant in number and are EXTREMELY repulsive in nature. This is what we refer our dating life to; disgusting and disease ridden¬†nuisances, aren’t we sweet? As I am sure you all recall, the reason these “pigeons” flock is wholly due to the “when they come they flock phenomenon.”

Essentially what happens is, you haven’t gone out in a while and then suddenly you get a date! Amazing! You are thrilled and relieved that you have not reached spinsterhood yet when you get a text from a guy you met 3 weeks ago randomly asking you if you are free to meet up. Then you get an e-mail from another guy that your mothers best friends grandmother’s niece wanted to set you up with followed by a facebook message from your ex.

HOW does this happen? I am convinced that guys have some kind of high frequency radar or can just smell it when a woman is unavailable. Thats when they decide that if there is a chance that she might be off the market…they MUST have her (caveman instinct kicking in).

Anyway, during the interim BETWEEN the flocking, there is usually a quiet period where you may find yourself home on the couch reading this blog when you get a call from a friend:

Friend: Hey… what’s up how are you?
You: Good…
Friend: What’s doing??
You: Umm nothing really
Friend: Noo but like… what’s doing?? (this is where you are supposed to realize that your friend is trying to ask you if you are dating anybody)
You: Like I said… nothing. Single and ready to mingle (ew did I just write such a cliche?)
Friend: Oh ok great because I was talking to this guy the other day who would be PERFECT for you. He is smart, tall, attractive, becoming a doctor and is really funny and rich and comes from a great family. I really want you to go out with him.

Ok…

What is going through your mind right now because I’ll tell you what is going through mine ….

If this guy is so great and is essentially a perfect representation of what every member of the male species should be like…..then WHY don’t you go out with him?????

Red flag alert!

Seriously, I am a bit of a cynic so I am also thinking about what is wrong with him and why isn’t he taken by now if he is just sooo perfect???? What’s the catch???

I’m not trying to say that I don’t appreciate it when a friend tries to set me up on a date, I’m just skeptical and for good reason.

People are generally selfish when it comes to dating. As the dwindling pool of available NON freaks lessens each day it makes no sense that an eligible singleton would pass up such a catch.

Now, I know what you are going to say… Maybe he just wasn’t right for her and your friend is trying to do you a favor (or in my case the favor would be to provide me with blog material).

Very possible.

But, as I said before- people are generally selfish when it comes to dating- ESPECIALLY single girls of a marriageable age who practically poach an available NON freak as it he were an endangered species (even more so if he is tall). So I am sure you can understand my apprehension….although it still isn’t enough to stop me from accepting….

Hey, I have a blog to keep up- don’t judge me.

To sum:
When a friend offers to set you up with a seemingly perfect guy there is usually cause for suspicion (I am speaking, as always, from experience). It may seem like she/he is doing this out of the kindness of their heart, which may be true, but in reality what they are saying is this:

One Response to “What is the catch??”

  1. Mark May 20, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    But it could also be -"I want to fixyou up withsomeone I wasn'tgood enoughfor."… let's see how you handle him, at least I'll get a good laugh from the ensuing blog post.:-)

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