18 Jul

If I had to name my favorite literary device, it would be irony. If I had to name my least favorite part of the dating scene, it would ironically be irony.

You know what I am talking about when you are at a party or social gathering and the guy who is hitting on you makes you want to pull all the hairs out of your head and shout “WHY ME????”…

Ironically, the guy who you were eye-ing the entire night has yet to glance in your vicinity.

Venn Diagram: The 2 RARELY intersect!

Backstory: A month or so back I met “the lingerer” at a friend’s house party. He seemed nice and we went out a few times and spoke occasionally. It soon became obvious that not only did he use every possible excuse to casually touch me ( I really don’t like to be touched by people I just met), he also used every mili-second that we were in the same place to remain glued to my side.

In an attempt to get the message across, I told the lingerer I saw him as more of a friend and did not have any romantic feelings towards him. This went in one ear and out the other. It actually had the opposite effect and resulted in MORE phone calls.

Anyway, I avoided him after that to the best of my ability. Unfortunately for me, we have many mutual friends an as a result, he is usually at every party and social gathering that I happen to be at. Now, I’m hoping that is just a coincidence and not some kind of stalking tactic on his part.

So, the other night, I headed to a birthday bash with a group of friends for some dancing. Obviously the lingerer was there and used the extremely cramped and crowded bar to his advantage by pulling my hand or putting his arm around my waist to guide me through the crowd. I squirmed away only to be greeted by a stranger at the bar who grabbed my hand in an attempt to dance with me. When I pulled my hand away, I ended up smacking myself in the face. I am just THAT graceful. 

Mercifully, the lingerer left the bar, and me, alone (pun intended). 

To sum:

Now, understandably the adage is that men want what they can’t have. Meaning, when you reject their advances, it makes them come on stronger (clearly demonstrated in “the lingerer’s” case). Whereas when you actually ARE interested in a guy (such as “Mr. Wednesday” who was attractive, smart, cultured and knew how to plan interesting dates) and show interest- he is quickly bored, loses interest, and {as it consistently and predictably happens in my case} flees. It is quite a conundrum which I am forever trying to make sense of. 

“There’s nothing more heartbreaking than watching a circle of a Venn diagram float through life in chilling solitude, seemingly incapable of finding that one special circle to cross lines with. If you feel like this Venn (above) is the perfect illustration of your dating life, maybe you just haven’t found the right type of guy who appreciates clever, tongue-in-cheek venn diagrams as much as you do. He’s out there, and when you two meet, your circles are going to overlap the crap out of each other.” 

Here’s hoping!!!!

5 Responses to “Vennting”

  1. Primum Non Nocere July 22, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Great post! I'm sure they'll intersect at some point. Here's my favorite Venn diagram.

  2. Check Pleaseee July 24, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

    Hahaha! I've seen that one!!!

  3. thoughtsappear August 17, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

    I’d like to blame this (“when you reject their advances, it makes them come on stronger”) on other women.

    I’ve had too many women tell me that their husband “just wouldn’t go away,” so they finally caved and dated and then married them. Apparently, a lot of women are all about stalkers, errrr, persistence.

    • umcheckplease August 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

      Oh yes…sometimes persistence will get you EVERYWHERE!


  1. Qualifications « Um…check, please!!!! - September 20, 2011

    […] the infamous irony does not escape […]

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