The love her and leave her type…

24 Jul

Fooled you once, shame on him…fooled you twice, shame on you…

Fooled you thrice… now you’re just plain stupid!! Why don’t you learn from your mistakes already?
Who am I referring to ladies and gents????
Well, that would be me unfortunately.
Yes, ME… I am the type that guys seemingly love and then for some reason or another leave. And I’m not only talking about leaving the relationship, although by default that does occur. I’m talking about physically leaving, to the point of FLEE-ing the city/state and more often than I am comfortable admitting, country.
In my life I would have to say that I have had about 4 serious relationships. I find it to be a strikingly concerning and alarming coincidence that 3 out of those 4 relationships ended, not because of any kind of fight or irreconcilable difference, but because they all felt the sudden need to join the army in a country as far away from me as possible.
This may or may not be some kind of sign that either:
A) I have a “type” which is a little annoying because I always thought of myself as very open minded when it comes to dating.
B) I must have some kind of character trait that awakens in these men, a desire to protect and serve (everyone aside from me.)
C) I should probably take the hint and move out of the US already. I mean if all the guys I like are going there then maybe I need to take the bait and follow suit (?)
D) I am just that unbearable to be around that the only way to get away from me is to literally flee the country.
E) Not everything is about me
In this case the answer is probably E). I will now descend from my high horse and join the rest of you little people here on the ground.
Honestly though… Aside from the whole army thing, there are other instances! Even with people who I am casually dating!!!
Take Mr. Wednesday for example. He is an awesome guy, very fun and cultured (and tall!). We had fun and had a lot in common. Then one day he texts me that he is moving back home for the rest of the summer and then starting school in a different state in the fall. Oh … Ok. I guess thats that.
Or even The Sir who just up and went backpacking for the summer leaving me with empty cradles which I am unable to rob.
I’ve thought about this ever since it first happened and have come to many conclusions as to why this happens.
This can be summed up in a few small observations I have made about myself over the past few years. I have done some serious introspection and have concluded one major overarching theme:
I like to have projects. Now, this is probably deserving of an entire blog post but I will sum it up shortly here first. I seem to attract the type of guy who is by definition a project. This means that he has something missing in his life/identity/personality that I feel the need to work on helping him find/figure out.
Don’t ask me why I do this because I really have no idea, I noticed it around 4 years ago. I’m a helper, a healer, a confidante -whatever you want to call it. I just have this innate NEED to fix things no matter the cost to myself emotionally and mentally. My friends often joke that if my motto is “If there’s nothing wrong with him- I’m not interested.”  Crazy how true that tends to be … woooops

Only recently have I found myself saying things like “oh wow if I had the time or energy this kind of guy would DEFINITELY be right in my wheelhouse 2 years ago…” or “I would totally dedicate myself to this kind of project if I didn’t have a billion better things to do.”

For example, one of my honorary pigeons who has been flocking for the longest time has succeeded in winning the award for “dancing around the issue.” He flirts and makes suggestive comments but never actually asks me out or follows through with anything he says. He needed some education in the world of dating and relationships and although I did manage to give him some food for thought, it was at that point that I realized …
It’s not my problem!!!!
Not my job to help you become normal!!! Although the thought of it still makes me tingle with excitement.
It was extremely liberating when I finally came to that conclusion and as a result I am proud to admit that I am no longer in the business of projects. I guess now that summer is here I could afford a little side project- kind of like an arts and crafts type of situation maybe?
I’m done with projects!!!!! For good!
To sum:
Girls, you might come across a guy or twelve who is just crying out for help. Due to your nurturing maternal instincts you may feel a strange compulsion to do what you can for this person. Much like finding an injured pigeon on the sidewalk, you might be compelled to nurse it back to health. Be warned… the pigeon is probably diseased! The moment it gets well, it will promptly fly away high above the trees never to be seen again. Take it from me: walk away from that pigeon!!!! He can find his own way. Why not spend your time with a healthy bald eagle? Yes, they just so happen to be an endangered species… but thats the how you know he’s worth it!!! 😉

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