Awkward compliments

7 Sep

In general, I don’t do well with compliments. I don’t know what it is but sometimes they just make me uncomfortable and self conscious. For whatever reason, whenever anybody gives me a compliment, my knee-jerk response is to deflect it with some kind of self deprecating remark. Call it fishing for compliments or anything else, I guess in the back of my mind what I’m doing is testing you, the complimenter. Will your compliment still hold water after I reveal something ugly about myself?

Examples:

Scenario 1

Complimenter: Wow that dress looks so great on you

Me: Uchh I’m so sick of it, I think I’ve worn it about 100 times.

Scenario 2

Complimenter: Your makeup came out gorgeous!

Me: Yea but my eyebrows are SOOO weird no?

Complimenter: Umm no. What does that even mean?

Scenario 3

Complimenter: You look so beautiful

Me: But I didn’t even get dressed up!!!

Complimenter: I like the relaxed “at home look”

Me: Uch I’m gross

Complimenter: Why can’t you just accept the compliment and say thank you???

Me: I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really don’t know why I do this! I have to just learn to say thank you and be done with it. In due time I will learn. It’s not easy I tell ya and it makes me think about that scene from Mean Girls when Regina George compliments pre-coke head Lindsay Lohan:

Regina: You’re like, really pretty

LL: Thanks πŸ™‚

Regina: So you agree? You think you’re really pretty?

Its almost as though it is EXPECTED for her to disagree! WHYYYY IS THIS? I’ve thought about it a lot and am still at a loss for an answer. I think I’m getting better at it though! Now my strategy is not to deflect the compliment, but rather to accept it and add some kind of joke.

Complimenter: You smell really good

Me: Thanks, I showered for a change

All in unison: Hahahaha

I guess I just don’t like calling attention to myself and need to make light of the situation or else my cheeks will turn every shade of red possible. Some people wear their hearts on their sleeve, I wear all my emotions on my face.

Anyway, lets get to the main crux of the issue. Essentially, the above were relatively normal compliments and I couldn’t even deal with them. So, if you will, IMAGINE what my reaction is to those compliments that are SOOO awkward in nature that you just want to pretend they never happened.

“La LA LA La I’m not hearing this”

The reason I bring this up is because I received such a compliment mere moments ago (via text message obviously because I don’t think ANYONE in their right mind would ever say something so awkward out loud or in front of people). It was simply SO incredibly uncomfortable to read that I just had to ignore it completely which, thankfully, is fairly easy in the technological world; just change the subject.

Now I know you are all wondering what this unfortunate subject of my blog said that made me cringe so severely that I even made an audible “uccchhh.”

Well, I’ll tell you.

He said… wow I really am holding back the vomit right now.

” You’re imbedded in my mind, your face is a national treasure”

(Mind you, I met the guy ONCE and also National Treasure was a terrible movie so I was kind of offended. Definitely not Nicholas Cage’s best work)

Ummmmmmm… yea….do people really say these kinds of things and expect it to work?

Did I miss something?

Am I supposed to be swooning? Because I’m really not… AT all.

And why not an INternational treasure? Is my beauty limited to American soil?

To sum:

Guys- When offering elegant compliments and flatteries to females, do try to make them sound natural. Attempt to give them as unstudied an air as possible (Prof BH- points if you pick up on this quote). Otherwise, you just freak us out πŸ™‚ K thanks!

Girls (including me)- ACCEPT the damn compliment! I know I’m not the only one who does this deflecting/compliment thwarting! Be confident, say YEA I look DAMNNNN good!! Then allow him to treat you like the INternational treasure that you are.

12 Responses to “Awkward compliments”

  1. Princess Lea September 7, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    I am also terrible with compliments. I self-disparage all the time. Often I think when someone is complimenting me they are either (a) handling me or (b) looking for compliments themselves, which since I don’t like to get them I tend not to give them.

    “I love your outfit!”

    “It’s, like, 5 years old.”

    “Um, I didn’t have to know that.”

    Next time, I’ll mumble “Thanks” and change the subject.

    From men it is even worse. Then I start babbling like a nutter to distract attention from me.

    • umcheckplease September 7, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

      I knew I wasn’t the only one who did this!!

  2. Brent Baker (@bsbaker85) September 7, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

    I do the same thing especially at work. When someone says I did a good job I mention the 5-10 things that I thought were not very good.

  3. thoughtsappear September 8, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    If someone comments on my clothes, I generally do ok, but I’m awful at accepting other compliments.

    Person: I love your hair down like that.
    Me: Anyways…Speaking of hair, did you get yours cut? No?

    • umcheckplease September 12, 2011 at 6:40 pm #

      haha they totally ripped off my blog topic!!!!

  4. Garnel Ironheart September 13, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    Compliments should be original to be accepted. The old “Wow, you look great” or variations on that inevitably create a self-deprecatory backlash.
    Something like “Wow, I didn’t notice the lights were on because of how brightly your eyes are sparkling” or “Is that how you always look or did you intentionally try to make everyone else in here look plain and uninteresting?” go a lot further.

    • umcheckplease September 13, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

      I see what you are saying but I feel the need to inform you that there is a fine line between a compliment and a “trying-too-hard” kind of pick up line. If someone told me that my eyes were sparkling enough to light up the room- I’d probably roll them at him. I liked the second line though because it has a bit more of a relaxed/joking effect. I guess it all really depends on the delivery though.

  5. ATL September 13, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    I once received this text from a guy. “I just wanted to tell you how beautiful and astute I think you are.” It’s really sweet and not necessarily vomit-inducing, but “astute” made me laugh. I bet he had “smart” originally but then looked in the thesaurus for a more sophisticated word. I played along and responded kindly. I never heard from him again.

  6. yedid Nefesh September 20, 2011 at 10:28 pm #

    I had you in mind when i wrote my latest post

    http://lovesickforg-d.blogspot.com/2011/09/jew-in-prison.html

    Come visit

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Qualifications « Um…check, please!!!! - September 20, 2011

    […] you may recall, I don’t exactly do well with compliments. The latter statement kind of nullified the former compliment, so I guess it was an acceptable way […]

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