Analogies

27 Sep

It was during my date with Mr. Wit, that a very interesting conversation transpired. It all started out relatively normal, with me blabbing on and on about school and my masters degree as if anyone really cares (I really should let the guys get a word in edgewise). I mean yea my program is really awesome and I’m learning all this fascinating and interesting information about the body and it’s really so amazing. Its beyond most people’s realm of comprehension really…oh shoot , there I go again! Anyway, after I pretty much talked his ear off, we started talking about TV shows that we watch.

Sidebar: In the past, I’ve often found myself saying I was a fan of a show the guy watched even if I had only seen like 3 episodes. No idea why I did this because it really made for an awkward few moments when he goes into the whole “oh remember when bla bla bla happened” and then I am subsequently forced to phase into the “smile and nod” mode. Anyway, I don’t do that anymore because in actuality I HATE southpark and family guy and basically any adult cartoons (newslflash guys: GROW UP!). So no, I will not pretend to like them.

Mr. Wit started to remark on how there are so many vampire shows on TV lately and how he doesn’t understand why all women are obsessed with vampires. Being that this is a topic that I am fairly proficient in, I attempted to explain it all in layman’s terms. It went a little something like this:

The reason that girls like the whole vampire topic is because each and every plot line stars a smitten vampire who lead a troubled life as a vagabond for the past 200 years and then miraculously turns almost saintlike, all for his beloved (usually portrayed as a very “girl next door” type of ordinary). What woman wouldn’t want a guy with a dark past who suddenly sees the light (vampire pun intended) all because of her? Yes, she was the one who saved him and whatever was left of his vampy soul.

Needless to say, Mr. Wit looked at me like I had sprouted fangs and demanded his blood as dipping sauce for my fries. He simply couldn’t grasp the significance of what the vampire represents in the female psyche.

I tried again with an analogy:

Bad boys: girls :: vampires: females

(For those of you who failed the analogy section of the SAT, this may be a little over your heads and for that I apologize.)

It is well known that girls are typically drawn to the “bad boy” persona.

Why you might ask?

Well it is because a woman’s secret fetish is getting that bad boy to change FOR HER. She wants to be the girl he opens up to, the girl he falls for, the one who is able to break down that bad boy exterior of his to reveal the love-deprived boy inside crying for a hug.

It is the same thing with this vampire obsession! This leather jacket wearing, blood sucking monster finds a woman and is mesmerized by her to the point where he transforms into this completely changed romantic, chivalrous, sweet man. ITS ALL FOR HER.

We women are all attention whores deep down inside. Let’s be real here,  what woman wouldn’t feel empowered and flattered by a man who is willing to sacrifice his previous lifestyle choices for her?

It was then that Mr. Wit, to some extent, understood my point. After discussing how even though the “bad boy turned good” is not really realistic due to the fact that men never change unless it comes from within themselves, he threw me another solid inquiry.

Mr. Wit: So let me understand… What you are saying is that the only reason girls like the bad boy is because she wants him to become good for HER right?

Me: Yep… pretty much.

Mr. Wit: So then why don’t they just go for the guy who is ALREADY good????

Me: Hahaha… you know nothing about women.

Mr. Wit: (confused look on his face)

Me: Where is the challenge in that 😉 ???

To sum:

Men are from Mars women are from Venus. It’s no use for a Venutian such as myself, to try and use broken Martian in order to explain the intricacies of our kind. Its a moot point.

The women out there know what I’m talking about right? If not, I suggest you get out from underneath that rock you’ve been living under and watch : Vampire Diaries, True Blood or any of the Twilight movies for proof.

Guys, watch those shows and learn some tips on how to be dark, brooding and chivalrous.

8 Responses to “Analogies”

  1. thoughtsappear September 28, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    An excellent explanation. I’d like to add that when you become a vampire, you become instantly pretty and stay young. I’m all about being wrinkle-free and gray hair-(mostly)-free.

    • umcheckplease September 28, 2011 at 10:52 am #

      I hadn’t even considered the whole young fresh and sparkly thing! Amazing call!

  2. Princess Lea September 28, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    In real life, when I date, if the guy is quite a few years older than me, I know he’s not going to go for me because at some point in the last 15-odd years he had to have gone out with someone like me already.

    I’d like a good, sweet boy who listens to his mother. Not Lestat.

    I also never read Twilight. Nor saw it.

    • umcheckplease September 28, 2011 at 10:54 am #

      Read Twilight! Its such a guilty pleasure and will surely make you even more disappointed with men of today 😉 .

  3. yedid Nefesh September 28, 2011 at 6:18 pm #

    I’ve had a rabbi once ask me how come teenagers nowadays are so into the whole vampire trend? And along with what you were saying, I also added that girls love the intensity that comes with vampires: their feelings are intensified, when they block their feelings they do crazy stuff, they’ll stop nowhere to protect the girl etc… thats what girls dream of, a boy who will take care of them no matter what, even if it means protecting her from wolves and who knows what exists in a vampire world 😉

  4. Kathleen Fereday October 4, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

    Fantastic post. Some great points you mention in there.

  5. gabriella November 5, 2011 at 7:23 pm #

    this is awesome. 🙂

  6. Heather Summers November 5, 2011 at 7:34 pm #

    I love the Twilight movies and now I actually understand why I do!

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