Mmmm brains….

19 Nov

A very common complaint in the dating world is that men don’t appreciate/ are intimidated by smart girls. By “common” I mean for me, and by “don’t appreciate” I mean it makes them insecure, and calls their manhood into question.

In my other post, Qualifications, I mentioned that one of the women who was trying to set me up suggested that I “dumb down” so to speak. Meaning, don’t let on to how smart you really are because you’re going to scare away the men.

Aside from the fact that this is the 21st century where equality for women is a thing of the present, in reality guys I date should be thankful that I am career driven.

Nowadays you can’t survive without two incomes so stop crying and feeling insecure and instead say “Hey thanks for helping pay the bills so we don’t have to resort to prostitution, second mortgages or occupying wall street.”

No need to feel threatened my dear men-children!

In my experience, I have often found that many guys would rather date young ditzy girls with nothing to offer except mind numbing facts about Gossip Girl and Kim Kardashian’s wedding divorce. Despite the idiot prattle that flows freely from their face holes, these girls get scooped up and carried over the threshold in wedded bliss.

For a smart girl…I must be missing something here…

As a not unfortunate looking, young woman who is fun, kind (when you don’t piss me off) likes to learn, travel and is the epitome of humble and modest (clearly), I just don’t understand why a guy would rather be with an airhead, bitchy girl whose life revolves around superficial shenanigans- unless he is marrying her for her money in which case I totally get that ;). These girls need to occupy some brain cells and do something productive with their lives, it’s the least they can do after freeloading off our society like a parasite and stealing all the tall men.

To sum:

If the guys I’m dating aren’t interested in all that I have to offer, I may have to find my one true love among the undead…

12 Responses to “Mmmm brains….”

  1. BROOKEandMCKENZIE November 19, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

    Amen! Very well written and a great topic to discuss especially in the 21st century.

    Both of us have been in relationships where our intelligence vs that of the guys we were with was clearly black and white. I (Mckenzie) dated somebody once who seemed to be afraid of my success, the more I succeeded in my work, got raises and achieved goals, he seemed to applaud me while at the same time he told me I shouldn’t try so hard. He had lots of money and told me I should cut back on setting such high goals and achieving them and be happy not working and staying at home, while he had a life and made money.

    Brooke here on the other hand was in a similar situation where even her mom advised her that many men are afraid of successful, independent women that also have a lot of confidence.

    I once had a guy friend who told me that many guys would go after me for my looks and to find someone that appreciates me for my mind as well. The guy I’m with now is great and he always tells me that he loves I’m intelligent and he finds it beautiful, but there really aren’t many like that.

    • umcheckplease November 20, 2011 at 10:30 am #

      A man who appreciates you for your mind is the type of man who will stay with you and grow old with you. He will be there when your looks fade with age. That kind of man is a true keeper and is very hard to come by…

      So Brooke and McKenzie…my search continues (happy that McKenzie is ahead of the game!!) 🙂 Wish me luck, or don’t haha that way I can keep entertaining you with my crazy tales :p

  2. Brent Baker (@bsbaker85) November 20, 2011 at 5:58 pm #

    I seem to have the same problem, all I seem to find are the “young ditzy girls with nothing to offer except mind numbing facts about Gossip Girl and Kim Kardashian’s wedding divorce.” The women I do know that are intelligent and driven are all in long term relationships or just want to be friends. part of my problem is that I am somewhat unfortunate looking but I am working on that.

  3. eyekanspel November 21, 2011 at 6:25 am #

    As an intelligent male (do you hear that? I’m tooting my horn!), I don’t find intelligence, wit, or drive unappealing in the slightest. What I do find unappealing (and I think others like me probably do as well) is an arrogant girl who thinks she is god’s gift to the world. While you sometimes seem that way on this blog, I assume it is just the humorous style of writing you use to highlight the absurdity of the guys you attract. However, if you do act that way in person, you may be scaring off the nice, smart (and maybe even tall!) guys. How well does your writing here represent your general demeanor?

    • umcheckplease November 21, 2011 at 8:56 am #

      I was contemplating just replying with “I’m awesome” but I’ll go on a little rant instead.

      You’re correct in saying that the “arrogance” in my blog is all a part of my writing style. That hasn’t kept you from coming back and reading / enjoying(?) it though 🙂 Obviously I do possess the common sense not to flaunt my assets/toot my own horn when I’m out with guys (at least not verbally).

      HOWEVER, I’d also like to point out a double standard. All too often have I come into contact with/heard stories about guys who are arrogant and think they are gds gift to women (side point: that they sometimes GET women by doing this which baffles me beyond words). I just find it interesting that its “acceptable” for men (not generalizing to all men here) to behave like pompous arrogant jerks and not get any heat about it- they get high fives and fist bumps all around, but when women act that way…ohhh nooo too scary!! If you can’t take it…don’t dish it out.

      • eyekanspel November 21, 2011 at 1:20 pm #

        You’re not gonna get any argument from me on that. Guys who behave like pompous jerks are certainly no better than women who do it, and the fact that some guys get girls like that is the fault of the girls who are willing to tolerate that kind of nonsense.

  4. brunchforeverymeal November 21, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    Giiiiirl, preach! I dated this guy for a few months but he refused to “use labels” like boyfriend/girlfriend even though we basically were… we stopped dating, and now I see the girl he was willing to committ to… you can find her on her ‘model mayhem’ profile and modeling facebook fan page….and by modeling, I mean amateur photographers take pictures of her in lingerie for free. I just look at that and I’m like, really?! That is the girl good enough to be your girlfriend!? According to facebook her role model is Rihanna!! C’mon!

    What’s sad is I’m beginning to think every man is like this.

    • eyekanspel November 21, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

      His refusal to acknowledge your relationship should have been a red flag from the beginning letting you know what he was REALLY after. Of course not every man is like that. And I would hesitate to use the word “commit.” He’s not committing to the other girl. He’ll get what he wants and when he’s through with her he’ll dump her in the recycling bin like an empty can of soda. There really are some nice guys around. Chin up, girl 🙂

  5. yedid Nefesh November 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm #

    its well known guys dont usually like girls for their brains just because they are wired differenltly than we are. Its frustrating for us but im not sure it’s such an unfair thing. And i do know guys who have a hard time getting involved with girls because they are not intellectually stimulated. Ironically enough, those are the guys who are looking for girls who look like mini-gisele. Go figure 🙂

  6. BougieHippie November 28, 2011 at 3:02 pm #

    good post, I dont think guy are afraid of a smart girl but a pompous girl. You don’t have to be dumb to get a guy just dont be emasculating. I think so women think they have to be overly verbal, knowledgeable or even aggressive in the hope of being a self-efficient women. Its ok to be dainty.

  7. nelle December 12, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

    WIll an intelligent woman, one confident in herself and quite content to live singly absent someone worthy, scare off guys? You bet.

    And that is a good thing.

    No, it isn’t because I’m a dyke. I’m 57 and the parent of daughters 27 and 19, so a pox on me if I am out trolling via blog posts, eh?

    Rather, I say this because it is a natural filter, screening. The pool with guys who are okay with strong women would be the place to swim. If not, there is always the zombie thing.

    • umcheckplease December 14, 2011 at 10:27 am #

      Please provide a detailed map leading to this “guys who are ok with strong women” swimming pool. ASAP

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