Ask me!

This page has been created specifically for those readers who need advice. Feel free to fill this page with any topics you wish to be addressed, comments and questions you might have and I will do my best to respond with something humorous and/or witty.

7 Responses to “Ask me!”

  1. lazysunshine August 12, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

    Hi, I came across your blog via thoughtcatalog and simply love it!
    I am 25 and have never really been properly single in my adult life … which is why amongst other reasons I decided to go on a break with my boyfriend with whom I have been with for like 4 years. Anyway, out of nowhere, I meet this guy at work, who is 11 years older than me, very successful, smart and gorgeous. I sense he likes me for he couldn’t stop flirting with me. Then we start emailing each other with links to interesting articles about issues we are both passionate about. Then we meet up one night … end up going to dinner, and I am so nervous. (this dude has written a bestselling critically acclaimed book when he was 31) anyway, he tells me that he was going to get married just 2 months ago and still trying to work things out, tells me that like me he doesn’t think marriages work or monogamy in general. but things are ‘complicated’. then he asks about me and I tell him about my ‘break’ with my bf. then he says he is really sorry but he has to go and comfort his 40 year old neighbour who is having some emotional breakdown. I was left disappointed. We parted saying we hope things get resolved for both of us. Any advice or insight would be immensely appreciated! xoxo

    • umcheckplease August 12, 2011 at 2:32 pm #

      First of all thank you so much for the positive feedback! It really means a lot to me!

      Now let’s delve into your situation … I think that based on what you wrote in your comment, you know very well what happened here. Everything was going great until you opened up the ex-files. That’s when he bolted from the scene. In my opinion its probably because he doesn’t want to deal with that kind of baggage or he thinks you are on the rebound. Regardless it comes off as him not wanting to put effort into possibly starting a relationship with you. His loss.

      I just want to point out something I observed in your writing. You mentioned how this man does not believe in being monogamous and never plans to marry. You say that you feel the same way but is that really the case? Would you really be OK with that type of relationship? As a woman, it is in our nature to assume that a man will change for us. That suddenly this man will fall hopelessly in love with you and move mountains to be with you even though he has sworn off marriage. THIS LOGIC IS WRONG! Trust me. Men rarely change and they certainly don’t change in regard to something as serious as being faithful. The fact that he deliberately said he doesn’t think marriage or monogamy works is a serious red flag.

      I know that it was probably very refreshing to exchange intelligent conversation with a more mature and experienced man (they are rare). However, you should not ignore those red flags no matter how tempting (although red flags in general are always tempting to us women who at times tend to be masochistic).

      I would stay far away from this man OR proceed with EXTREME caution.
      Good luck!

      • lazysunshine August 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

        Thank you so much for your reply :).
        You make some interesting points… maybe I am just kidding myself when I say I don’t want anything serious… but a big part of me says I don’t mind… I just want a fling..and an update, he basically told me later that although he finds me attractive, his life is pretty messed up at the moment..so we really can’t do anything… After contemplating breaking up with my ‘normal and average’ boyfriend of 4 years… because I am sick of the same..I’m up for some unconventional stuff…as lame as this sounds, for once in my life, I want to be young and do seemingly stupid things..but I appreciate you looking out for me. Shall keep you updated πŸ™‚

  2. LilSis October 17, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    Date me.
    Hows tonight at 8?
    I want on this blog. NOW.
    So PT sound good?
    I’ll pick you up on my bike, cant be much worse then anything you’ve been through till now πŸ™‚

    • umcheckplease October 17, 2011 at 12:01 pm #

      By bike do you mean motorcycle? If so I’m down. If not I hope there’s room for me in the basket.

      • LilSis October 19, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

        so its settled?
        we’r dating.

  3. Tim December 6, 2013 at 8:36 am #

    hey, just wondering how tall you were and if i could fit the bill of being substantially taller than you? about 5-11 to 6′. Im also educated

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